Isn't it funny how quickly a relationship can turn into a relationSHIT? That person we thought the sun shone out of, well suddenly reality kicks in and we realise they're just like all the others.
For the record, relationships are not meant to be easy all the time. They take constant and never ending work yet most people take them for granted until they're falling to pieces.
There are a couple of simple things that make a really big difference in all relationships. Yet as simple as they are most of us don't put much effort into them once the glow of the honeymoon period fades away.
One - communicating in the RIGHT language. Ladies - men are not hairier versions of women! They can't read our minds. They don't know that we can say something and mean 5 different things, depending on our tone of voice and body language. That what we say is not necessarily what we mean. That they should know what we want without telling them directly. Well, they don't. Time to start telling it to them straight. If you're having problems vocalising what you want, write it down but which ever way you get it out just do it now and don't leave it till things are tense. That's how you end up hating on each other for a reason you can't even remember but likely started from something really stupid.
Two - sex. Yes, this is a vital part of a healthy functioning relationship and if you're not doing it at least twice a week then you're asking for trouble. You'll argue more, feel less connected, and the longer you leave it the more problems you'll have. This is easy at the beginning of a relationship, most of us are fucking like rabbits when its new and we think our partners are the best thing since sliced bread. But give it a few years, a kid or two and generally the sex drops off. I've known people who said they haven't had sex with their man in months, then they wonder why they don't feel loved or one of them ends up having an affair. There are too many reasons to count to stay intimate in your relationship. If you want to keep it then get busy in the bedroom - or kitchen, or bathroom, or wherever else you want to be doing it! Which I would definitely recommend, because a quickie with the lights off just before you roll over and go to sleep is better than no sex but only a little better. Mix it up, have fun together, and don't be afraid to say what where and how you want it. Communication + sex = fireworks!
If you don't want your partner to cheat on you or for you to cheat on them, or for it all to fall apart,these are two key fundamentals to making it work. If you're giving each other what you both need - communication and sex - then you'll most likely be able to work through everything else.
There's one more key thing I want to talk about that will help prevent your relationship turning into relationSHIT and that is polarity, but it's a bit long so I'll save it for the next post. In the meantime, go jump your bae!